Small Stuff

I was recently chatting with some other exchange girls who are from my district in Wisconsin, one is in Ecuador and the other is in South Africa. All of us are having some difficulties with either languages or classmates or other things. There are some pretty tough things to overcome when on exchange, things that only exchange students could understand about not feeling comfortable or at home or feeling hopeless.
One girl said "I learned how to solve a Rubik's cube so I figure it doesn't matter if I can speak Spanish perfectly". It's really small things that make you smile or small victories that make you feel accomplished and strong that makeup for all the feelings of hopelessness and frustration.
Being back at school has its ups and downs. This year I am getting more into the curriculum in all my classes and finding its actually easy and I have learned a lot of Spanish over the summer break. On the other hand I am also realizing how different I am from the other girls in my class. It seems all the girls like the same things, dress the same, and generally live similar lives, and I am the blonde exchange student who dresses a little differently and has different interests. I don't connect with them as much as I would hope. I often feel very awkward when they are all talking about their weekend or other things and I feel I have nothing to contribute to the conversation.
I often feel like an outsider, which I am, although I think it would be nice to make a connection with my classmates. There are always plenty of people at home I can chat with, but that's not enough.
The smallest thing like coming home and my host brother giving me a hug, can be the most reassuring thing I could ask for. Or knowing that I'm not the only exchange student in the world feeling this way.